Grilling is ALWAYS the first choice of cooking!
Cutting meat to check for DONENESS is like sawing down a tree to find its age.
A garnish is a bad disguise for not buying enough food.
Two months' salary is a small price to pay for fireworks.
Vegetarianism is to be encouraged, as it leaves more meat for us Normal people.
The barbeque chef shall be kept hydrated at all times.
The collapse of a lawn chair by someone sitting in it is only funny if it's someone else.
A proper sear negates any harmful effect of a steak falling on the ground.
The cheaper the beer, the more loudly you should say how cold it is.
Flare-ups will be handled calmly and discreetly until such time as flames spread to a national park.
Due to the delicate balance and concentration required, the user of a hammock should not be disturbed under any circumstances.
The dinosaurs are gone, so it is no longer possible to buy a steak that is too big.